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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29290971">just an infatuation</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/pixelatedeyes/pseuds/pixelatedeyes'>pixelatedeyes</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Homestuck</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - High School, F/F, Humanstuck, Mutual Pining, Short, Unresolved Romantic Tension</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 06:02:20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>876</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29290971</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/pixelatedeyes/pseuds/pixelatedeyes</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>What do you do, when she is Kanaya Maryam, and you are nobody?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Rose Lalonde/Kanaya Maryam</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>just an infatuation</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Have you ever wondered what happens to the world when two people fall in love?</p><p>Alas, the answer is simple. The world carries on, guilty of letting the world slip by them. It is easy to think that when you are in love, the world simply is condensed, and it becomes a funnel, with your lover on the other end. But it is not so.</p><p>Somewhere, you know, two lovers are kissing for the first time, whether it is everything they had ever dreamed of, or a dire disappointment. Doves are released as a couple kiss under an archway, a new path of their life begun. In the same way, two lovers are ending a life-long commitment, perhaps with teary eyes and bitter words. Or perhaps they don’t feel anything anymore.</p><p> See, everything is temporary, and you know that. But it’s hard.</p><p>It’s hard, when she is Rose Lalonde, and you are nobody.</p><p>It is hard, when you catch a glance of her black dress, her soft skin, and her violet eyes, peripheral as ever.</p><p>It is hard to remember that the world has not shrunk when she is nearby.</p><p>Your name is Kanaya Maryam, but even that is unimportant. But oh, when she says your name, it is like she is taking it, and making it her own.</p><p>You wonder what she would say if you asked her to take your life and make it her own.</p><p>There is something truly strange about the moment you truly fall in love. Maybe it’s hard to pinpoint the exact moment, and perhaps you will never truly realise you are in love. Maybe it is simply infatuation, you think to yourself. But somewhere, the truth is buried.</p><p>What separates young love from the fully fledged kind of love they talk about in books and films? Is it the way you meet, the way your hands brush against the same book, or how your eyes meet from across the room? Or is it simply the way you <em>know</em>, as soon as you see them, that this is <em>it</em>?</p><p>What is this <em>it</em>?</p><p>Do the sleepless nights, the dreadful stutter, the willing of words that never come around Rose, is this it? Is this love, or is this infatuation? How will you ever know anything? How will you ever be anything if you can’t be with Rose?</p><p>Rose is everything, and you are nothing.</p><p>Isn’t that how all love stories begin?</p><p>***</p><p>She is Kanaya Maryam, and I am nobody.</p><p>I could use all the cliches from so many romance novels to describe her, and yet it would not do her justice. The world stops when I am around her. She completes me. I’ll never be perfect without her.</p><p>And yet, the silence. The silence of my words when she comes towards me, her jade eyes lighting up as she talks to me about some trashy vampire romance novel she’s been reading. I prefer wizards, but I’d never tell her that. For a moment, I can hear the void of silence calling me, telling me never to say what I truly feel. And I <em>listen</em>.</p><p>I sit there, as she talks, and I tell her things. Empty words that hang in the air, and she grabs at them with a smile, oblivious to my torment. I tell her about this new book I’m reading, and she tells me about how she’s thinking of starting a knitting club.</p><p>And my words. They echo back at me, empty of my true feelings. I smile, I laugh. And I observe the way the skin around her eyes crinkles when she smiles, the way her green dress rests against her body, as if it’s asking permission to rest there. The way she fiddles with her hands in her lap, and every so often looks up and meets my eye, and we both smile at each other for half a second.</p><p>We talk about poetry. I want to talk about everything, and yet everything will never be enough. I want to kiss her and take her outside and show her the world as she let’s me see it.</p><p>But how can I?</p><p>I am Rose Lalonde, and I am nobody to her.</p><p>She is Kanaya Maryam, and she is everything to me.</p><p>There’s nothing else to it.</p><p>***</p><p>The story of Kanaya and Rose is a short one.</p><p>It is a simple story, a story of two girls, both infatuated by the other.</p><p>They both saw the world through a funnel.</p><p>And they were both everything to each other.</p><p>It’s strange, and funny. If only one of them had said something, things would be different. Who knows? There are infinite numbers of universes out there, and there is one, where they both kiss under an archway, a new path of their life just beginning.</p><p>But not in this one.</p><p>In this one, neither of them says anything.</p><p>They never kiss under the stars, nor do they get married.</p><p>Imagine their story for yourself. I’m sure you can. Maybe Kanaya marries a lovely businessman, and Rose becomes the author of a bestselling series, perhaps about wizards. Who knows? Who cares?</p><p>There is no point to this story. It’s just an infatuation. But in the moment, it meant everything.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I wrote this for English class, hehe. Please leave a comment if you enjoyed.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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